Cover illustration by Peter Palombi / photographed by Jim Miller.

“This book is my fiftieth birthday present to myself. I feel as though I am crossing the spine of a pitched roof—having ascended one slope. I am programmed at fifty to perform childishly—to insult “The Star-Spangled Banner,” to scrawl pictures of a Nazi flag and an asshole and a lot of other things with a felt-tipped pen…” – Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.